stinken girls

there are many things wrong with the world.

many, many things.

poverty, world hunger, racism, global warming, pollution...

the list goes on.

one problem which we will all encounter is GIRLS.

sadly i am speaking from experience. 

before i wash pushed out of my mother’s birth canal i was said to be a boy.

yes thats right folks, my name would have been Michael James, and I would have carried on the XY chromosomes proudly. Instead, I came out with a serious missing limb (did the doctor mistake my finger for a penis??) Anyways, I came out with a ... no penis... thus I’m female... clearly... if you don’t believe me I’ll show you. 

So I can speak from experience when I say that everything (well maybe not everything) but ALOT of what is wrong with the world is GIRLS.

we talk too much.

we talk about people too much.

we are too emotional.

we think everyones out to get us.

we play this stupid game with other girls where we talk about them and then pretend we are best friends. 

“she’s such a fat bitch”, “OMG she’s the worst dresser ever”, “she looks like a tranny whore”, yada yada yada, the list goes on. Its girl syndrome. 

It took one too many talks,

one too many bad things to say,

one too many catty sleep overs for me to realize how seriously deranged us girls are.

so i’ll give it up. I’m sure i’ll still have my moments, but i’ll seriously try to remove myself from all the bullshit the xx chromosome has to offer. so girls, the next time you decide to bitch about world hunger, global warming, or the effects of the meat industry on our planet i suggest you shut up and first figure out why your going to lunch with the girl you spent the whole night before bitching about. 

© NLDM

nobody elses

here's the truth.
what you do is up to you.
nobody else.
who you see,
what you feel,
who your with...
its all you & no one else.
it's your life, so its your business,
nobody else's.
you don't owe explanations,
justifications, or meaning,
to anyone, BUT yourself.
sure, advice, and renditions are great,
but at the end of the day,
its your business,
and to those who think its theirs...
its because they have no business of their own.
so forget the should haves,
would haves, could haves.
forget asking people about your plans.
forget everyone else,
and do what your heart tells you,
your brain can't.
cause at the end of the day,
its nobody's business but your own.
© NLDM

hollow man

hey hollow man

where did you leave your heart

hey hollow man 

its your lies that tore us apart

you left your soul worlds away

with all of your history and foul play 

and if only you weren’t all tin inside

if only you were able to swallow your pride

hollow man if you could understand my pain

be able to overcome all of your shame

if you felt with your heart instead of your brain

we wouldn’t be left with a burnt out flame

hey hollow man when did you lose your way

let go of everything you offered - all your beauty

when did you become so numb and cold

if only you knew what you had was gold

the sad thing is i miss you though your empty

even though all my pain still feels so heavy

and even though your lost i wish you were here

any where closer, anywhere near


hollow man I hope you find what you lost
no matter how long, my fingers are crossed

© nldm

drowning

and I’m deep,

deeper then the oceans,

deeper then the seas,

I’m twisted and scared, 

but this is me.

i write my own rules,

play by my own song,

I’m as deep as an ocean,

and I’m drowning in my wrongs.

I’ve broken what I’ve touched,

and touched what I’ve broken,

my cuts still haven’t healed,

from harsh words spoken.

look into my oceans,

you will see,

the pain in these eyes,

it constantly follows me.

I’m deeper then oceans,

deeper then seas,

I’m constantly worried,

but this is me.

I’m drowning here,

I’m no longer afloat,

I’m drowning in my thoughts,

and this terrifies me. 

I’m sinking in myself,

steeper and steeper,

I’m gasping for air,

but i’ve only sunk deeper. 

I’ve finally hit the bottom,

I’m sinking in my sand,

struggling to get out,

reaching for a hand.

there’s no body there,

I’m reaching for anyone,

I’m filled with emptiness now,

I’d do anything to be found. 

© NLDM

letting them in

they enter at night

come in through my dreams

they invite themselves in 

like they were welcome it seems

as if i invited them myself,

my vulnerability let them in

they refuse to leave,

they linger with haunting

they sit and they watch my every move,

their eyes piercing thru my every sin,

they sit and they stare and capture my dreams,

they’re bringing me down, determined to win.

its like they know exactly where insecurity lies,

they catch me at my weakest point,

whenever I’m drowning in my cries.

they stay like bruising pains lingering through my joints. 

the uninvited are here to stay,

regardless of any of my dismay,

their silhouette so cold it seems,

with their ability to haunt me in my dreams,

the uninvited they lay next to me in bed,

they aren’t going anywhere, 

because they live inside my head. 

© nldm

life

heres the funny thing about life.
its filled with people.
people who you will cross paths with.
some good.
some bad.
some who will change your life.
and others who cant even change your mind.
some who lie and cheat,
and some who will promise you honesty.
some people you will want to be there for
and others it wont matter where they are.
some people will be willing to take bullets for you,
and others may be willing to shoot them at you.
now heres the funny thing about people.
they are filled with their own ideas.
their own opinions.
their own plans and their own path.
some will be willing to hear yours and hold them close,
or only hear them to  simply know what yours are.
the funny thing is we need these people in life.
whether they are good or bad.
honest or dishonest.
full of promises or ideas.
we need them when theyre willing to shoot us down,
because it will make us stronger,
and we need them when theyre willing to take one for us,
cause sometimes we cant take it all on our own.
so be thankful for your life, however funny it seems.
and be thankful for the people,
whether they are good or bad,
honest or not,
full of big ideas or small,
they crossed your path,
and thats all you needed.

snakes and ladders

life is much like snakes and ladders

while you try to climb closer to what matters

you exhaust yourself climbing up the stairs 

so you trust those you shouldn’t in times of despair

your looking for a way to get ahead

but naive enough trust the lies your fed

and you place your trust in all the snakes

unable to realize they’re only fakes

and you get caught up in all the lies

unable to see through all the disguise

unable to read through all the deceit 

so you continue to let history repeat

the vicious circle of up and down

climb up the stairs and slide back down

you blow on the dice for a lucky roll

crossing your fingers for what your future holds

you move forward, one, two maybe three

hoping the ladders will set you free

you roll again, four, five or six,

but the snakes there to give you your fix,

you slide down her back till you hit the floor

then you climb back up the ladder to settle the score

so dont trust her because shes only fake

while you give and give she will only take 

so place your trust in only the ladders

because they will get you all the places that matter

so ignore the snake at all costs

they’re nothing special, no big loss.

and the snakes are like most people in life

just waiting to stab you in the back with a knife

your friends in life are much like the ladders

there to help you through all of your chapters

so chose your friends wisely and hold them close

snakes versus ladders.. its how the story goes.

© nldm