UPDATE

So it is clearly evident i have been MIA lately. Life has gotten in the way of me & my dear blog. To be honest life has gotten in the way of me and everything as of lately. I blame my lack of inspiration/ my lack of updating/ my lack of everything I haven't done lately on MY LACK OF air conditioning (if i could sleep in my car every night i would.) Today I decided to clean my apartment which was disgusting long overdue. No one unless your crazy wants to clean/ do laundry in this blistering heat. So today, in hopes to be a productive, mature 22 year old i decided to do both. While doing the unfortunate chore we all must do (unless you have someone who does it for you willingly, or you can afford to pay someone to do it for you, this doesn't apply ... but fuck you.) Yes, anyways. While i was doing my stupid, monster pile of laundry i came up with a list of laundry etiquette. Yes, you read right. Laundry etiquette. And this applies to everyone who has to share laundry.
1) time how long it will take your laundry and when its done TAKE IT OUT
2) don't leave your laundry in the washer longer then it has to be
3) don't steal my hamper, or anyones for that matter
4) don't steal someone's tide .... especially mine ...
5) don't flood the laundry room & if you accidently do clean it up you idiot 
OR at least notify the poor soul who will clean it for you
 6) take your clothes out of the dryer as soon as its done.
I'm not sure why many of you are under the impression that i want to see, touch or imagine you in your underwear ... but i don't. So just do us all the favor and time when it will be done so none of us have to sadly touch your nasty pile of clothes (even if you just cleaned it.) HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR CARTOON UNDERWEAR ?? NOT COOL .
** I am aware that some of my rules overlap but that is because I cannot stress them enough, so please follow them for all the unlucky people out there who have to share laundry and possibly touch your cartoon underwear to clean their own.

Aside from a laundry rant, i recently started a tumblr account which is updated a bit more often then my blog, only because i can update things by clicking rather then racking my brain for rhymes.
you can view it here.

Well on a parting note, i am off to finish cleaning my apartment/ watch toddlers and tiaras and question the mothers who are stupid enough to put their ugly children in these competitions. (why are you spray tanning your four year old and why are you under the impression that your daughter will become miss america????????) NO six year old girl, you are not a winner GO PLAY WITH DOLLS & STOP DRESSING LIKE ONE ... #dumbkid #crazyfuckingmoms
much love <3 nldm

six billion

There are over 6 billion people in this world. 6 billion souls. 6 billion lost. 6 billion people asking questions and searching for answers. 6 billion people on this planet looking to please themselves or somebody. With that many people you can assure yourself that some have it worse and some better.  With 6 billion people you can be reminded that your not alone. Your not left on your own searching. It may be a lonely road sometimes but all 6 billion will walk it some day. 6 billion people and were all still searching.

© nldm

stinken girls

there are many things wrong with the world.

many, many things.

poverty, world hunger, racism, global warming, pollution...

the list goes on.

one problem which we will all encounter is GIRLS.

sadly i am speaking from experience. 

before i wash pushed out of my mother’s birth canal i was said to be a boy.

yes thats right folks, my name would have been Michael James, and I would have carried on the XY chromosomes proudly. Instead, I came out with a serious missing limb (did the doctor mistake my finger for a penis??) Anyways, I came out with a ... no penis... thus I’m female... clearly... if you don’t believe me I’ll show you. 

So I can speak from experience when I say that everything (well maybe not everything) but ALOT of what is wrong with the world is GIRLS.

we talk too much.

we talk about people too much.

we are too emotional.

we think everyones out to get us.

we play this stupid game with other girls where we talk about them and then pretend we are best friends. 

“she’s such a fat bitch”, “OMG she’s the worst dresser ever”, “she looks like a tranny whore”, yada yada yada, the list goes on. Its girl syndrome. 

It took one too many talks,

one too many bad things to say,

one too many catty sleep overs for me to realize how seriously deranged us girls are.

so i’ll give it up. I’m sure i’ll still have my moments, but i’ll seriously try to remove myself from all the bullshit the xx chromosome has to offer. so girls, the next time you decide to bitch about world hunger, global warming, or the effects of the meat industry on our planet i suggest you shut up and first figure out why your going to lunch with the girl you spent the whole night before bitching about. 

© NLDM

nobody elses

here's the truth.
what you do is up to you.
nobody else.
who you see,
what you feel,
who your with...
its all you & no one else.
it's your life, so its your business,
nobody else's.
you don't owe explanations,
justifications, or meaning,
to anyone, BUT yourself.
sure, advice, and renditions are great,
but at the end of the day,
its your business,
and to those who think its theirs...
its because they have no business of their own.
so forget the should haves,
would haves, could haves.
forget asking people about your plans.
forget everyone else,
and do what your heart tells you,
your brain can't.
cause at the end of the day,
its nobody's business but your own.
© NLDM

hollow man

hey hollow man

where did you leave your heart

hey hollow man 

its your lies that tore us apart

you left your soul worlds away

with all of your history and foul play 

and if only you weren’t all tin inside

if only you were able to swallow your pride

hollow man if you could understand my pain

be able to overcome all of your shame

if you felt with your heart instead of your brain

we wouldn’t be left with a burnt out flame

hey hollow man when did you lose your way

let go of everything you offered - all your beauty

when did you become so numb and cold

if only you knew what you had was gold

the sad thing is i miss you though your empty

even though all my pain still feels so heavy

and even though your lost i wish you were here

any where closer, anywhere near


hollow man I hope you find what you lost
no matter how long, my fingers are crossed

© nldm

drowning

and I’m deep,

deeper then the oceans,

deeper then the seas,

I’m twisted and scared, 

but this is me.

i write my own rules,

play by my own song,

I’m as deep as an ocean,

and I’m drowning in my wrongs.

I’ve broken what I’ve touched,

and touched what I’ve broken,

my cuts still haven’t healed,

from harsh words spoken.

look into my oceans,

you will see,

the pain in these eyes,

it constantly follows me.

I’m deeper then oceans,

deeper then seas,

I’m constantly worried,

but this is me.

I’m drowning here,

I’m no longer afloat,

I’m drowning in my thoughts,

and this terrifies me. 

I’m sinking in myself,

steeper and steeper,

I’m gasping for air,

but i’ve only sunk deeper. 

I’ve finally hit the bottom,

I’m sinking in my sand,

struggling to get out,

reaching for a hand.

there’s no body there,

I’m reaching for anyone,

I’m filled with emptiness now,

I’d do anything to be found. 

© NLDM

letting them in

they enter at night

come in through my dreams

they invite themselves in 

like they were welcome it seems

as if i invited them myself,

my vulnerability let them in

they refuse to leave,

they linger with haunting

they sit and they watch my every move,

their eyes piercing thru my every sin,

they sit and they stare and capture my dreams,

they’re bringing me down, determined to win.

its like they know exactly where insecurity lies,

they catch me at my weakest point,

whenever I’m drowning in my cries.

they stay like bruising pains lingering through my joints. 

the uninvited are here to stay,

regardless of any of my dismay,

their silhouette so cold it seems,

with their ability to haunt me in my dreams,

the uninvited they lay next to me in bed,

they aren’t going anywhere, 

because they live inside my head. 

© nldm