steeper

the memories will fade, 

some will say,

but they’re not fading anywhere,

at any rate

my mind is cluttered with the past,

i can’t seem to let go

or begin to move quite as fast, 

the pain seems to linger through my body

numbing and cold it circulates through me,

the cuts seem deeper

the pain stings more 

I’m walking up hill 

and it only feels steeper

i cry out as loud as i can,

i need you here 

you once belonged to me,

we let go of everything we once had

said goodbye to it all

even good things turn bad,

and now I’m left here with these empty thoughts,

i’ve suffered through these battles i’ve fought,

and now I’m too cold to stick around,

fighting for balance, or at least common ground, 

this exterior shell is now to hard to break, 

nothing seems real, even smiles fake,

who knew being lost could hurt this bad,

i didn’t picture uncertainties being this sad,

who knew pain could linger through the night,

and make me crave darkness still in mornings light,

why does letting you in mean giving up so much,

letting your guard down means surviving on one crutch,

I’m learning to walk these streets alone now,

and not let this past predict my future somehow . 

© nldm