left with loneliness

It’s like your lost in a familiar place.

You recognize the walls,
But everything feels so different. 

You’re used to everything around you

But you can’t help that you don’t feel the same.

Your holding on, not wanting to let go.

Left lost, without the one person you

thought would never lose you.

Reality sinks in with your hearts defeat.

You feel stripped that one person could

take so much from you and leave so little.

That one person could mean so much,

and now they’re supposed to mean so little.

Your almost embarrassed that without them,

you feel like your nothing.

You hide it, at least try to.

While holding back the emptiness

pretending hurt doesn't exist

You lay still, stripped numb.

You miss the warmth of good feeling,

The promises, the memories,

They all leave you cold now.

Loneliness keeps you company,

So you do anything to fight it.

Good company sets you free,

Helps your mind forget,

And warm bodies ease the pain,

Even though they aren't yours.

Loneliness makes the bad feel good,

Almost makes you wish you could have it all back,

It makes you realize what you had and lost,

It makes you weaker but stronger.

Warmer but colder.

It makes you ashamed but hopeful.

It makes you want to feel again,

but not feel what’s left 

when there’s nothings left.

© nldm