an update to my life

this is not a rhyme.
this is therapy today.
i am venting by means of blog.
i am cursing lack of sleep.
hospital waiting rooms.
group work.
group projects.
group related anything that depends on other people for work rather then pleasure.
i curse this last week and final projects, followed by major exams.
i loudly curse people who lack enthusiasm or eagerness to do .... anything.
i curse those who curse to often and too much, so i curse myself i guess.
i curse those who blog more then me because they have more time.
i curse those who think they are good at things but they really are not .
ill say it . you suck.
i curse people who cant say it.
so i curse dishonesty .....

on a brighter note ... or side... whichever way you want to look at it .
i DONT curse self respect.
tomatoes.
stripes of any kind.
i DONT curse plaid or the kings of leon, or shoes.
i curse food kindly because i love it all the time, too much, so it makes me want to swear out of excitement.
i dont curse the inventor of soup or salad, rather, i bow to their feet for providing me with my main food groups.
realistically, i dont curse cursing. i find it therapeutic. like writing.
so due to my lack of posts.
my one week vendetta and disappearance --
its because im busy .... cursing.
sorry
fuck.

somewhere on shore

im like a sinking ship,
just hanging on as i loose control
and im going under
letting go of it all


i can feel the waves slowly take over
as the water fills through my boat
it floods every inch of me 
till im no longer afloat


i feel the water fill my lungs
till i cant breathe anymore
i feel the water take over
each and every inch of my soul


and im drowning in this mess ive made
my ships sunk to the bottom of the oceans floor
and i lost myself along the way
hoping ill one day wash up along the shore
© nldm

your own war path

you left yourself in your own war path

drowned yourself in your own blood bath

left yourself hung out to dry

with all of your deceit and all of the lies

you stood standing in a path of bombs

lined them up for yourself & all of your wrongs

helpless as you watch your life pass by 

helpless you stood while no one cared for your cries

and you sank like a rock as you tried to swim

you sank and drowned in what you tried to gain

and we could have had everything, had it all,

should have had me wishing i never met you at all 

© nldm

an oldie but a goodie ...

if your feeling crappy like the recent weather .....
well .... this made me feel better ...

"if you want to call me baby ... just go ahead now!!" 

strong & true

she’s been waiting steady for the answers

time hanging over her like heavy anchors.

wondering when the pain will give in,

all of her hope seems to be running thin.

and she’s staying strong, as strong as she can be,

but she’s waiting for the answers that will help set her free.

she’s looking for solutions to the problems that she bares.

she’s counting all her blessings & thankful for the prayers.

she’s staying optimistic, as optimistic as she can be,

she’s praying the answers come sooner then she's seen

she’s fighting a disease she knows nothing about.

hoping that time will provide answers rather then doubt.

she’s staying strong to herself, strong and true,

remembering that this is just another thing to conquer and get through.

© nldm

deep inside

The memories linger deep inside
And deep inside is where all the pain hides
Your easily reminded by everything bought
Every picture every kiss every fight ever fought
Every moment spent so happy together
Every moment made you believe it was for forever 
But forever ended quickly. Much quicker then we thought
Forever ended sooner then it was even caught.
And you wonder where it all went and when we lost the fight
When good memories faded quick and nothing seemed right
And the pain lingers deep inside
Only to remind me I'm alive
And it numbs me deep to the core
The memories are worse then anything ever felt before. 
And it burns thru my skull like a migraine
If only my head could shake all the pain. 
And here's to the memories that are buried deep inside
Here's to the pain and all of my pride
Here's to the memories and everything we lost 
Here's to what we gave up no matter the cost. 
© nldm 

go fish

your given a set and your searching for a pair

go fish

you make your way by asking questions

go fish

you find some that give you what you need but they’re not what you want

go fish

you keep asking for what the other person has to offer

go fish

your hoping you will win the next hand but people are competing for what you need 

go fish

you compile your cards in hopes to win

go fish

you’ve compiled pairs and some experience to play the game

go fish

you keep fishing till there’s no cards left

or nothing left of you.

go fish.
© nldm